The “terrible twos” can be bad enough. Just ask any mama who’s been there, and they will likely tell you that this age is hard. Now imagine the mama with twins. When you’re twinning the terrible twos it may feel like there is no end in sight. Wouldn’t you love to transform the terrible twos into the terrific twos, mama?
Twins have this energy about them. They are super emotionally connected to each other. So when one is happy, the other is usually happy. But when one is melting down, or sad, then it’s also very likely that the other twin is going to experience the same emotions.
So how do you transform the “terrible twos” into the “terrific twos?” Well, mama, keep reading! I have 10 tips that will help you to not just survive this season of “toddlerhood,” but to actually enjoy it!
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1. Schedule & Routine
This is, hands down, my #1 tip to transform the terrible twos into the terrific twos. HANDS DOWN! So pay attention, mama!
You have to have your toddler on a schedule. A sleep schedule and nap schedule. (Yes, your two year old babe still need a daily nap!) A meal schedule. A snack schedule.
They need a routine, and they need to know what is coming next. They need to understand that they have to brush their teeth before they go to bed every night, and that throwing a hellacious fit will not get them out of it.
Toddlers, especially two-year-old toddlers, love to test boundaries. That’s how they learn!
So even if you have to take that babe back to bed 17 times at night, you can’t give in and let them curl up on the couch beside you. Unless you want that to be your nightly routine. And, mama, I know because this is precisely the routine I’ve created! Pray for me….
2. Snacks
Snacks are life! Toddlers can become hangry, like in an insta-second. And once they start that downhill, hangry spiral, it’s super difficult to get them back.
Having snacks ready when I pick them up from daycare, when they get up from their nap and as soon as they wake up in the morning are key for this mama! I know if I don’t have these vital times covered with snacks, then my precious little darlings will likely morph into tiny psychopaths before my eyes.
So, stock up your car and your purse or diaper bag with toddler-friendly snacks! Don’t forget to throw a couple snacks into Dad’s truck too! He will thank you, trust me!
3. Keep them busy
Toddlers have tons of energy to burn off. And they aren’t designed to sit still for long periods of time. Keeping them busy is key to transform the terrible twos into the terrific twos.
One of my favorite ways to keep my twins busy is to involve them in whatever I am doing.
Benjamin Franklin once said, “Idle hands are the devil’s playthings.” This rings true for toddlers too! Keep them busy and you will notice those terrible two moments turning into terrific two moments.
I always involve them in my workouts in the morning. This gets their blood flowing, helps them to wake up and burn off a little energy. And really, if I feel a ton better after working out, why wouldn’t they too!
If I need to work on my computer, I will take my laptop into the barn and let them ride their bikes around.
Simply asking them to help you do anything when you see a meltdown coming on can alter their path. This morning, P was ready to lose her *ish over who knows what. I just asked her if she could go get Mommy’s chapstick out of the bathroom. And, Boom! Meltdown averted!
4. Pretend Play
Pretend play is so important for toddlers because it allows them to learn and grow. My twins love to imitate me and Daddy. When left to free play time, they will most likely choose to role play Mommy and Daddy putting them to bed, or talking on their phone to their friends or putting on shoes, coats and hats and going to town to go to Wal-Mart.
These kids LOVE Wal-Mart. I do not know who they are imitating here! Mama does NOT like to grocery shop!
It can be hard as a parent to get anything done without both twins being right under my heels, either wanting to help or to be held. Involving them in pretend play is a great way to occupy them, allowing me to be able to get dinner cooked too! This can be as simple as handing them a bowl and spoon and asking them if they can help me by mixing up something for dinner.
Definitely consider pretend play when choosing toys for your littles! My twins get the most use out of the toys they can use to imitate me. They love their play kitchen, cell phones, coffee pot, and laptop. All of the things they see Mama with! They also get just as much use out of my clothes and purses as they do with any toy!
5. Be Consistent with Discipline
When your toddler does melt down (or when they are both melting down at the same time) it’s easy to lose your cool. When they’ve pumped laundry soap all over the laundry room floor for the 5th time this week, it’s easy to fly into a mama-rage.
Consistency is KEY with discipline. When your twins gang up on you and you find that sea of soap on the floor again, how are you going to react? What does punishment or discipline look like? Do you believe in spanking? Time outs? Removal of their favorite toys? Whatever you choose to do, however you choose to discipline, you just need to be consistent.
Your toddlers are pushing the limits in order to learn where their boundaries are. And if you are inconsistent with your discipline and consequences, then they will try it one more time to see what Mommy is going to do this time.
6. Share your Calm
Toddlers are easily overwhelmed by big emotions. When they feel happy or sad or even mad, they often times simply don’t know how to express what they are feeling. It is so important to help your toddler to first put a label to their emotion and then talk to them about how to manage that emotion.
“It’s okay to be mad, but it’s not okay to hit your brother. When you’re mad, you need to hug your blankie and come talk to Mommy.” This is something I often find myself saying.
Now, it’s not uncommon for P or K to come to me holding their blankie, crying, and telling me that they are mad. When this happens, I just hold them and let them know that it’s okay to be mad. I’m proud that they are coming to me instead of hitting, kicking or throwing things.
And, sometimes, your toddler just needs a little bit of grace. We all do, from time to time. We all have bad days. Even as adults, we sometimes don’t know how to handle all of the emotions that we experience. Toddlers, though, don’t know to tell you that they had a bad day. Instead, they will throw a fit, act out in aggression or maybe just want you to hold them or play with them more than normal.
7. Talk to them
There are really two aspects to this one.
First of all, talk to them like they are special, perfect, and just the absolute best thing that’s ever been created. Brooke Hampton really said it best.
It’s so important to speak your truth into existence. This goes for your children too. What you constantly tell them, is what they will become. If you tell them they are bad, they will believe it and act accordingly. However, if you tell them that they are wise, kind, beautiful (or handsome), and amazing, they will believe that too.
In order to transform the terrible twos into the terrific twos you have to transform how you talk to your toddler.
Secondly, offer explanations. Answer their questions. Tell them WHY. I know, I know, you feel like you can only answer those “Why?” questions so many times!
What is most helpful for me, is to remind myself that this is how they learn! They aren’t trying to be difficult. They really aren’t trying to drive you to splash Bailey’s in your coffee at 9 am. Truly, they just want to understand. And when they don’t understand something, they respond by melting down. I’ve saved many tantrums by just answering all of their questions and offering explanations as to why we have to do something.
For example, P does not like for me to do her hair. She likes to leave it unbrushed and free, so she can “swing it around” like a head-banging rockstar. Well, we were going out to eat recently, and I told her she needed to let me put her hair into a pony. She began to throw a fit, but when I explained that I just didn’t want her to get food in her hair, and she could take her pony out when we got home, she calmed down and all was right in the world again. AND she let me brush her hair and put it up.
8. Introduce something new and fun
Sometimes all it takes to avoid the road to meltdown city is to introduce something that is new and fun for your toddler. This doesn’t have to be something big! Toddlers have amazing imaginations and, really, if it’s new, it’s probably going to be exciting for them!
Can you build a fort out of couch cushions and pillows? Sprinkle flour on the table and draw shapes in it? Bake and decorate cookies?
A few nights ago, Thomas was planning to leave shortly after P&K went to bed. But we have been battling bedtime lately in the Masterson household. So, rather than fight it alone after Dad left, I decided to throw a sleepover on the couch with P&K. We made beds on the couch, brought out all of their favorite stuffed animals and blankets, and turned on Frozen. They were so excited that they put their pajamas on and brushed their teeth without even a hint of protest! Then, not even 15 minutes into Frozen, both babes were sound asleep on the couch. MOM WIN!
9. Embrace the Chaos and Mess
Okay, mama, if you’re a Type A personality like I am, it may be hard to embrace the chaos and mess with toddlers. I often cringe when I hear them overturn their basket of toys. I don’t often sweep because I can’t find the floor under all the toys!
Sometimes I just have to ask myself, Is anyone dying? No. Is anyone hurt? No. Can the hot mess of a house and the flour from our craft time earlier be cleaned up later? Yes.
Okay.
I’m going to stress less and play with them more!
10. Self Care
Even if you follow all of my tips to a T, all toddlers are still going to melt down from time to time. They call it the terrible twos for a reason after all, mama.
So this tip may be the second most important tip I have for you today. SELF-CARE MAMA! This is so important, yet something that a lot of us put to the back burner. You cannot pour from an empty cup. You must take care of yourself if you are going to be the best version of yourself for your family.
Self care looks different for each of us. For me, it’s getting my workout in daily, first thing when I wake up! Maybe self care looks like 30 minutes on Saturday morning where your hubby takes care of the kids and you go grab a coffee solo. Maybe it’s a bubble bath and a good book after they go to bed on Friday nights. Whatever your self care jam, find it and make it happen, mama!
PS. Do you want to turn your self care into a morning fitness routine with a group of like-minded mamas who support and encourage each other daily? Fill out my application HERE to join my tribe while filling your cup daily!
Toddlers are tiny humans who experience mega emotions. They are learning and growing. They are just beginning to understand what is an acceptable form of self expression when they are happy or sad or mad. All of this combines and often explodes as a terrible twos tantrum.
But with a little patience, understanding, consistency, and, of course, snacks, you can begin to transform the terrible twos into the terrific twos. You may even (gasp!) enjoy this season!
You may also like:
5 Hacks for Back-School Mornings
How to Get Your Workout in When You’re Super Busy
I’m Sorry I Was a Jerk Today
Loss says
Great tips! Wish I thought about some of them when my twins were in the terrible twos.
Ashley says
Embraces the Choas and Mess is huge. Also talking to them on there level. That is huge because then it isn’t like talking down to them
Jenny says
My kids are exactly two years Apart. I had a terrible two and an infant. How did I do that? It’s all a blur. Having one “two” at a time was enough. Can’t imagine two of them. Whew! I could have used these tips, they are the best.